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«August 2018»
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Di, 10.01.2006 17:19
Mi, 01.08.2018 16:34
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» appreciation «
Mi, 01.08.2018 16:34
» so much happened in the first half of 2018. I learned a lot. Also about myself. Still a lot of fear and jealousy. It does not go away so fast. Maybe never, but you start learning how it affects you and how you deal with it, so it does not affect others too. I gained a lot of experience and got convinced to believe a lot more in myself. I appreciate the people around me. Though still some are not important to me. And probably will never be. Because they do not fit neither in my world nor in my heart. I can proudly say I am proud for what I have reached. And for the holiday we 2 spent. It was awesome. But after a good time, though I was ill, it seems that somethings hits back double or triple. Now our time together is rare. A lot of challenges are arriving. And my head is turning and I am only thinking, like I always do. I am looking for solutions, I can also live with. He can, just like that. But I am not willing to take it as it comes. I take changes but not bigger ones. Not ones that affect my life in a way I am not accepting. I am a fighter. And if something happens to me or my loved ones I become a tiger. I will not give up, looking for solutions. And I am looking forward to a weekend in our new hometown. Just chilling and relaxing without a dark thought of future in mind. Now I am a bit worrying about my future plans, but I will see. Still keeping to it. And keeping it to myself. Hope the second half of the year will also be good. But it will be as long as i believe in it. Somehow afraid of autumn.. in summer less bad thoughts appear. But still: belief is all. «
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